Happy
by TheJetsetter
Summary: "I'm sorry, Stephen Dene, for singlehandedly ruining your life." Following the Madness Underneath. Please Review


Every step she took sent a hollow ringing through the empty hospital hall. The boy headed in her direction, however, made no noise. He rushed up to the girl, who was heading towards him with tentative, nervous steps. In his hurry, he paid no attention to his noiseless feet. He reached an arm out to the girl's shoulder.

"Thank goodness you're alright. Why are we in St. Mary's, Boo? Did something happen to Callum?! Or Rory-"

Boo cut him off. " We're fine. Follow me, Stephen. We all need to talk to you, but there's people around."

She turned on her heel and walked slowly down the hall and turned to the door of a hospital room. Her hand closed around the handle but before going in, she turned to face him.

"Please, please, listen to what we have to say. We had to do this." Her voice was on the brink of tears, and on second glance the man could see the red rimming her eyes, replacing the kohl eyeliner.

She opened the door.

The first thing he noticed was Rory. Her head was down in one hand, dark hair fussed about her face and hunched shoulders. Her free hand was grasping at the hospital bed, at a hand dangling limply to the side. She looked up at the two who entered, and her eyes met his. Rory sobbed. It was a sort of sob that broke the hearts of all around it. Her shoulders heaved as tears fell out of her already puffy eyes onto her wrinkled clothes. Rory closed her eyes tightly and put her head down in defeat. Stephen stepped forward and reached an arm out for her shoulder.

She flinched and dodged out of his grasp, spilling out of her chair onto the floor, still managing to hold onto the hand.

Then Stephen looked onto the bed. He looked at the black hair, pale skin, and blue hospital gown. Then he looked at the heart moniter, at the flat line. He looked back at Rory crying hysterically on the ground and Boo in the doorway, crying quietly, arms crossed like she was trying to hold herself together. He looked at the body that was once his and at the hand connected to Rory, the girl he'd never really get to touch again.

Rory gasped a few times and tried to compose herself. She blinked up at Stephen. " I-I-I'm so s-s-orry! This is all m-my fault-t."

Stephen sat on the edge of the bed and stared at the wall for a moment. Then he spoke, directing his questions at Boo.

"What happened?"

"When you hit your head in the car, it- it caused an epidural hematoma. It was too late to fix it, and you went comatose. There was nothing anyone could do, so- so we- we..." She wiped at her eyes and breathed in deeply. " We pulled the plug. And we tested Newman's theory. Rory held onto your hand there, and we waited. Callum left the room, he's round here somewhere. Thorpe went home a while ago. I'm so sorry, Stephen. We should have taken you to the doctor, we should've..."

"Can you go get Callum, Boo?"

She nodded and walked shakingly out into the hallway.

Stephen sighed deeply and looked at Rory, who had pulled herself onto the chair and was holding on to her knees, quiet.

"This is the longest I think you've ever been quiet."

She smiled wistfully and wiped at her eyes. They were silent for a few moments.

"Why did you do it?" He finally asked.

"Do you remember what happened last night?" She asked quietly. He nodded, not looking at her.

"It didn't make any sense to me. I was so- so happy last night. I felt like for the first time in weeks, everything was going to be alright! I went to sleep, and I had a weird dream involving ham, and then Boo woke me up, and she didn't have ham and... She told me you wouldn't wake up."

Rory laughed quietly. " When everyone was pinching you and begging you to wake up, I was just thinking... You looked almost _happy_. Your glasses were off, and that little squiggle between your eyes was gone. I didn't believe anything bad could happen, but they called the ambulance and they took you here, and they told us what happened."

"Boo was crying, Callum was hysterical, and me...I just was...Numb. I was thinking of you driving me around to destroy ghosts and of all the times I made you mad. I was thinking of when we went to face Newman, and you told me about your sister, and you said you were doing something brave because I was, and how brave you were when you ran into Jane's car. Then I thought of what Newman said, about dying with a terminus."

"Boo was all for it, Callum wasn't. Thorpe gave me the go. We needed you here. I needed you here! It was my fault you died! If I had just listened to you and gone home, you never would have gotten into that car accident! You'd be fine and alive and I wouldn't have to sit so far away from you because I'll never get to touch you again!"

He sat there, silent.

"It is your fault I drove into Jane's car, but not the way you think. I didn't do it because I needed to return you to you parents and stop a kidnapper. It was because I was afraid they'd hurt you. You are the only person I think I've ever trusted and I care for you a lot more than I'd ever like to say aloud. I did it because I wanted you to have a full, happy life. The kind of life I could never get you as a member of the Shades. The kind of happy I'd never make you. Last night...I fell asleep probably the happiest I'd been in my whole life, and I hope I died thinking of you, because then it wouldn't hurt."

By then, she was crying, and it was the most emothion she'd ever seen him show. His expression was open and raw, dark eyes full of tears that wouldn't shed.

"I should have known that happiness wouldn't last." Stephen smiled his odd, little half-smile.

"Stephen, you are the most stubborn, stupid, brilliant, selfless, and sane person I know, or...knew. I wish you could see what I see of you. I care about you. And as long as I'm around, I promise to try to keep you happy as possible, though it's a poor consolation, because I piss you off most of the time."

Then he really broke. His shoulders and head fell and he let out a sharp sob.

"I failed you, Rory, and Boo and Callum. I can't keep you safe. For God's sake, I can't even touch you!"

"I failed you, and I'm sorry. Stephen Dene, I singlehandedly ruined your life. I don't know what I can possibly do to make this okay. I probably never will, because this isn't okay at all. I turned you into a ghost, but...when and if you ever get to a point where you can't take it anymore, then I'll end it, I swear."

"I can already feel myself going insane, Rory, with you sitting a mere three feet from me and I can't help you at all! I'll help you three as much as I can for as long as I can with the ghosts and Jane and such, but please, you can't wait for me. You have to be happy without me, Rory."

"No, Stephen!"

"Rory! You can't waste yourself! I wasn't worth that in life and certainly not in death!"

"Yes, you are! Stephen, you keep me sane! You keep me grounded! God knows where I'd be without you!"

"Somewhere happy, probably."

"Shut up, Stephen! I'm staying with you and we are going to get through this. We are going to be happy."

He smiled a bit. " You've always made me happy, Rory."

"That's all I needed to hear, then."

They were quiet again.

"If I could kiss you right now, I would," he said.

"And I would enjoy it."

They smiled at each other for a few minutes. Rory marveled at how lovely his smile really was, how rare.

Boo approached the door, guarded. She held onto Callum's hand, basically dragging him behind her. He walked in and faced the wall. Then, after a while, with difficulty, he faced the ghost of one of his best friends. He gritted his teeth and clenched and unclenched his fists a few times. He slowly relaxed and then finally spoke to Stephen.

"I'm sorry, mate."

Stephen shrugged. " I hope you know this means you'll be doing double the paperwork."

Callum laughed loudly. It brightened the whole room, everyone smiled.

"I wouldn't count on that. You better learn how to hold a pencil real quick."

And at that moment, they knew they would be okay for now.


End file.
